Let Perfect Burn

Vulnerable by Choice with Boudoir Photographer, Caroline Talbot

• Tara Beckett • Season 1 • Episode 2

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In this episode of Let Perfect Burn, I sit down with boudoir photographer, Caroline Talbot, of Caroline Talbot Studios.

Her clients are women who want to reclaim their bodies, typically after a significant life event: marriage, divorce, health crisis, trauma and many more. They want to be vulnerable by choice.

Caroline talks about one of the most amazing moments in her sessions is the moment she watches her client let go. It is in the letting go that the woman in her lens truly gives herself permission to be present, to be enough, to be courageous and empowered.

Caroline lives and breathes that every single woman is ENOUGH AF.

Some highlights in this Episode from Caroline:

"I help my clients see something beautiful in themselves that they may not have seen in a very long time, or ever. I love being able to show them what I see and what their loved ones see when we look at them."

"This session was a farewell to her body. I always sit down with clients before their session because yes, we take sexy photos, but I want to understand the why."

"It's been a struggle of saying I want to be able to essentially have the best of both worlds. And it's impossible, you cannot. So being able to have that space to say it is okay to want to work and want to be away from your children. And then also wanting to be present and be there for them. But knowing that I want to be away from them sometimes, I can be better when I'm with them."

Don't Miss a Beat.
Follow my Instagram for news from me:
https://www.instagram.com/letperfectburn/

Follow Caroline Talbot Studios' Work:
https://www.instagram.com/carolinetalbotstudios/

Original Music for Let Perfect Burn by Eleri Ward
https://www.instagram.com/eleriward/

Tara Beckett:

Hi, I'm Tara Beckett and welcome back to let perfect burn. My guest today is Caroline Talbott of Caroline Talbot studios. Caroline is a boudoir photographer. She had no idea that when she started her small business, the impact that she would have on her clients and the impact that her clients would have on her. That I'm so excited to have in studio Caroline Talbott of Caroline Talbot studios. Hello, girl. How are you?

Caroline Talbot:

Good. How are you? I'm good.

Tara Beckett:

Caroline, is a CPA turned professional boudoir photographer. And Karolina I would just love for people listening for you to tell us what is a boudoir photographer? If we've not heard of that before?

Caroline Talbot:

Yeah, sure. Um, so just a quick thing former CPA no longer was that yeah, yes. It was like not keeping that license up for sure. Don't need to hear.

Tara Beckett:

Like very former very, very, very former. I got no long not doing your talentegg Know

Caroline Talbot:

your taxes. Your financial just not happening. Yeah, I don't even do the tip at the restaurant anymore. I'm like, no other people do it. I don't do it. Like, no, thank you. But yeah, so what a lot of people know boudoir as is just kind of, like the first thing that a lot of people have that come to mind is like, Oh, the sexy photos that brides take before their wedding for their new husbands. And it's actually so much more than that. I do work with brides, of course. But the majority of my clients are women who have gone through some kind of event in life, whether it's gaining weight, losing weight, marriage, divorce, trauma, something, breast cancer, or really, so many types of cancer, or some sort of medical event or something that they're kind of, on or just global pandemic, I don't know, you know, which is a catch all at this point. But, um, my clients are women who have gone through certain things in life, and they just want to actually reclaim their bodies and kind of the best way I've heard of put is that they want to be vulnerable by choice, and have that idea of letting go seeing something beautiful in themselves that they may not have seen in a very long time, or ever, and being able to show them what I see and what their loved ones see when I look at

Tara Beckett:

them. That is beautiful. I love the idea of being vulnerable by choice.

Caroline Talbot:

Yes, I can't take credit for that. That was one of my clients that she said, this is the first time in 20 years, she had gone through a lot. And just lots of things, putting her in vulnerable positions that were completely out of her control. And she was saying that this was the first time that she felt very vulnerable, but it was because of choices that she made and because she wanted to go there. And it was just such an awesome thing to see just the difference in taking that power back.

Tara Beckett:

As far as you know, connecting back to the kind of healing you're talking about free, you're absolutely when you turn the corner I got out of corporate world and you know went into this really new world of being a boudoir studio owner. What just hit you that you weren't expecting.

Caroline Talbot:

Um, I really wasn't expecting it to matter so much. That, you know, I've had clients that have just gone through such heavy things and being in relationships where they don't have any control or being in a health situation where they don't have any control. I had a client this past year that I didn't know until she showed up to her session that under 48 hours after her session she was having a double mastectomy. And so this was kind of her like farewell to her body. And just really talking through that with her. I always sit down with clients before their session because yes, we take sexy photos But I want to understand the why and what they want out of the experience because yes, the photos right in the movie the experience, but push comes to shove, it's doing something that's so far outside of somebody's comfort zone and being able to say like, Hey, if somebody told me without clothes on and nobody died, like, nobody even like reacted, it was weird. But so going through that process, and something that she had said Is she felt like her body failed her because she finally got to a point where she was happy with her body. And now this happened. And we really talked through about how it wasn't her body feeling here, it was breast cancer, and that her body was fighting with her, not against her. And that was really something being able to go through that and then take all these photographs of her body. And then at the end of her session, like it was just, it was really nice, because as she was walking away, she was like, I'm ready. I wasn't ready this morning, reading now. And just being able to go through that journey with someone I never thought being a boudoir photographer, like I knew that I could, like, Oh, here's a fun self esteem boost, not like, I'm going to prepare you for a very drastic change in your life right now. And you're going to be at peace with it. And

Tara Beckett:

I'm just thinking, the nature of a photograph, and how that woman that you're talking about has something to hold and keep right at that really beautiful part of her body that is really about to change. And you gave her that gift. Oh. Whew, that one's got me a little bit a little bit, got

Caroline Talbot:

it and floored. Really, yes. That one, think about your tickler session I was I only shoot one client in a day. Because I never know what it's going to be or how long we're going to take. Because if somebody needs that space to sit, we are going to take that space and sit, I'm not going to be like, well, let's go crank it out and go. But when she walked out the door, I locked my door and I just sat here with nothing. There was no music playing. There's nothing and just kind of, like let the heaviness of what was about to happen to her sit and like I bawled like a baby because I was just like, I can't believe that this matters so much. And that she's going through all of this right now. And to be a part of that journey with women. In general. It's just so rewarding.

Tara Beckett:

You know, I've known you for a long time. And you're a beautiful, beautiful person. And I'm just wondering, is there something that you can think about in your life or growing up or somebody who influenced you that really broke open that capacity to be on this journey with the women that you work with? Because I just feel like there's something really beautiful and special about wanting that ability to be open in those sessions.

Caroline Talbot:

Yeah, I mean, my grandmother was like, I mean, everybody says, My grandmother is I think, or whatever. I'm pretty sure that if she were famous, like she actually would be safe. She was one of those women who went through one of the hardest lives at home. My grandfather was not really in the picture when I was alive. But knowing all the things that she went through, and the kindness that she gave to every single person she met, I don't know a single person who had ever met her that didn't feel like their day was a little bit better, because she was part of it. Whether it was just her being silly, or like being willing to listen, and she would just never judge no matter what. There was just awesome. Somebody asked her if she would marry for husband again and everybody, like, of course was like, of course, she wouldn't that that would be the dumbest thing ever. And he was he was bad guy or he Yeah, he was not great. Physically, emotionally abusive. And she had a children that she essentially, and he was on the police force. So back in the 50s, when she was asking for help it kind of both the church and the community was just kind of like go home and be a good wife. And they let her down. Yeah. And so somebody, like at a holiday was like, oh, yeah, well, we know that she wouldn't do it again. And she was like, of course I would. And everybody was like why? And she was like, because if that's what I had to go through to have this family. I would do it again in a heartbeat. Like just knowing that she was that willing to go through so much for her family was just

Tara Beckett:

awesome. So you have a family? I do. Yeah. And I would love to know, how you do what you do at work. Like you've said, there's such an emotional connection with your clients. You also own your own studio. And what about being a mother has been challenging given all that you've talked about that you do? I

Caroline Talbot:

mean, I think it's really hard. Like, I feel like everybody, all moms, like we have this kind of unity, that we're just like, Yes, this is hard, like, cool. Um, and I do feel like I have being a working mom, it's hard. Being a stay at home mom is hard. My trouble is that I've been trying to find the balance, and I tend to be like, well, then I need to be 100% of both. And I need to be a functional working mom. So I can feel like a member of society. But I have to do all the things that I would do, if I were a stay at home mom, because I, I make sure that my schedule works out that I have two days during the week that I have the kids. So they're in daycare three days a week, and I'm with them two days a week. And then of course, weekends. And I feel like sometimes I try to fit seven days into and be like, Okay, well, I have to do all the fun things. And then also all the laundry and all the self care and all the things. And I think that has been a struggle of saying I want to be able to essentially have the best of both worlds. And it's impossible, you cannot. So being able to like, have that space to say it is okay to want to work and want to be away from your children. And then also wanting to be present and be there for them. But knowing that I want to be away from them sometimes, so I can be better when I'm with them. And then

Tara Beckett:

even I mean, I'm just thinking I have that thought that very logical thought as well. And then there's just the mom guilt, like, Yeah, is it what is

Caroline Talbot:

I just want to go exercise for 20 minutes, but I can hear my son is frustrated at me walking up the stairs, forget it, I'll just Nope, I don't matter. Let's go back downstairs and sit and play puzzles for the umpteenth time. Even though there's no logical reason that somebody else can't sit with him for 20 minutes.

Tara Beckett:

Yes. And has there ever been as you were growing your studio or even lately that you just felt like you let yourself go, or there was just something where it just all the things you were doing just felt insurmountable.

Caroline Talbot:

Um, I would say definitely these past few years with COVID has definitely made it a lot harder, I feel like I'm starting to pull out of it. Now fall of 2021 was rough. Um, and definitely didn't focus on my health didn't focus on my own well being. And I was pretty angry and resentful for a few months, definitely like, and it showed in little ways, just getting frustrated with the kids, getting frustrated with my husband, completely avoiding social media and my business and like, not wanting just obviously still being there for my clients. But all the other stuff of like posting on social media and marketing and all the things. And I was just like, No, absolutely not. And it's, I feel like when things are so up in the air, it's very hard to feel grounded and centered. And this year, I put a big focus on that. I'm saying I need to take time, every day to feel grounded or to sit with my feelings and say if I'm feeling really angry and frustrated, I will get on my bike and I will make it heavy and pound at it and yell and do all the things I need to do to be able to get back to grounded because I feel like as moms and business owners, we tend to take all that ability away from ourselves. And I certainly not easy. I don't like getting up at 5am I would love to have that extra hour of sleep. But I have definitely noticed a difference in being able to say like yes, I It's hard and I'm drinking more coffee but but being able to say I'm going to actually take this space for myself whether it's at the beginning of the day, the end of the day, even if I'm exhausted and the kids have just gone to sleep and I just want to like sit and eat ice cream, I'm like, I'm gonna just take a hot minute before I do that, like, angry thing and just get my feelings to where I want them to be and then actually be able to be present for myself and my husband.

Tara Beckett:

That's pretty much a clinic in like self care, which I love. Right, right. You have, you know, when you feel overwhelmed, and it looks like you know, it feels like it's not perfect day to day, but there's something that you're really tapping into what an app, what is the thing that brings me back to myself?

Caroline Talbot:

Yes, definitely. I am an angry exerciser. I like I listen to like puppies, again, happy things. And then like, if I am like, just, I need to just sweat and feel like I lifted something heavy or did something like, I'm gonna just be angry and frustrated. Like, my husband laughs because there was one time I was I forget what it was. But I was exercising and like, my headphones, put it back when like you plugged in headphones, and my headphones, like, pulled out of my computer or something. And it was like Marilyn Manson playing and he's like, are you? Is everything okay? Like you listen to, like, top 40 And I'm like, shut up.

Tara Beckett:

So I don't really have anything to say that, although this amazing mental image of screaming into a bike and just pushing it out. And yeah, just kind of Yes,

Caroline Talbot:

well, I feel like there's like those groups of moms now that like get together in fields and just scream. Like, that's a thing now. Yeah, like, there's like meetups, that it's like, they'll just meet at a football field. And they all just, at the same time scream at the top of their lungs. And, um, like, there is some like cathartic thing to that of just being able to be like, I have all of this energy built up, I don't know what it is, whether it's angry or happy, or just excited stress and just being able to be like, I shouldn't feel good. And which sounds really good on a podcast for the record.

Tara Beckett:

I love it. So,

Caroline Talbot:

yes, so just being able to like, and I think that's also like, being in my line of work. The hardest thing of the entire process for anybody, as I tell them, the hardest part is going to be to let go. And to let go of that control. And to let go of the ideas that are in your head telling you that you can't do it and all that stuff. And if they're gonna be there, I can't make them go away. But I can help you let go until let them keep moving and that they might come through. But you don't have to hold them. You can like go. And when I see a client let go in the process of being photographed. It's just awesome. Because you see them go from like, nervous of like, Can I do this? And then I'll show them on the back of the camera. And they're like, Oh, I didn't think I looked like that. I'm like, I know you did. This is what you look like. And it's it's not photoshopped. It's not anything. It's just literally showing them that if somebody takes the time and attention and care and love that society tries to tell us, we don't deserve them, then being able to see what that looks like, is really cool. To be able to say like, okay, and then they kind of walk away like, what else did I think I couldn't do?

Tara Beckett:

I pierced my nose at 40. Right? And it was it was this feeling of I've always cared like, Oh, can I pull that off? Or like, you know, do you know, I'm a mom, I've got two kids, you know, I'm 40. And I think my goal in my life, especially, I mean that especially the moment I was hospitalized right with depression and suicidality and was admitted, I actually think that's my birthday. Right? Because it that was the day that I started my life, raise how I think about it. And, you know, I'm connecting what you do for work and just, you know, kind of thinking, what if, what if we let down what other people think we should do, right? Or how we are supposed to be? And we just followed our body or our intuition or our desire, like, what would that look like?

Caroline Talbot:

Absolutely. And that's something that I tell a lot of my clients before they come in, and when we're talking about like, oh, is this something that I really want to do or all this stuff? Because so many people walk in and they're like, Well, I don't look like the girls on your website. And I'm like, why not? And they're like, Oh, well, I could never do that. I'm like, why not? Like, and if I can ask get somebody to actually ask why not me? If they can't answer that, I'm like, Well then take the chance that maybe you can. And like, because nobody walks it, like, nobody walks into my studio be like, I'm going to be the next girl on the website. Like, if they did, I'd be like, there's the door, like, comment down, like, and not because I don't want people to walk in feeling confident, but usually somebody who walks in being like, post all these pictures, it's like, it is that I need to have that external validation. And that's not what this process is about. It's to be able to say, like, let me actually show you, what do people care about? You see, so you can see it and then when somebody does say something nice, you you can internalize it, and say, I believe

Tara Beckett:

so, Caroline, if somebody has listened to you, and they want this experience, how do they find you? How do they book with you? If there's just something that really has clicked in what you're seeing?

Caroline Talbot:

Yeah, definitely. My websites. Carolyn Tobin calm. I'm currently in COVID studios on Facebook, Instagram. I have Tik Tok. I don't do it either.

Tara Beckett:

I think I'm too old for

Caroline Talbot:

one. One video like this too much. It's too much. Yeah, I can't. But yeah, so Carolyn Talbott studios, there's a contact form right on our website, which definitely gives you all the information about trying to book a session, you get to chat with our studio manager, Cassidy who is wonderful and amazing, and is also an incredibly strong mom. And so we're a full Women Empowered running business. So yeah, it's really cool. And it's so much fun to be able to go through the whole thing we have a lot of fun with.

Tara Beckett:

So to wrap Caroline, for you, what does let perfect birth mean?

Caroline Talbot:

Um, it kind of means the whole like letting go of just like we all put these labels on the box that we live in, we put ourselves in a box, we all do it. And I always tell everyone, I'm not going to change the box that you're standing in. If you're a brunette, I'm not going to make you blonde. If you have dark skin, I'm not going to be light skinned. If you're older, I'm not going to make you younger. If you're curvier, I'm not going to make you thinner. If you're thinner, I'm not going to make you curvier. But I'm going to show you that the label is beautiful, sexy, strong, awesome, kind. All these things that you think are mutually exclusive to the labels you put on yourself. I'm going to just take a big ol sharpie and write them all over the box that you put yourself in to realize that they belong there. So it's just kind of we have that box of perfect that everybody puts so far from themselves. And nobody wants to live there. It's it's not a good place to live.

Tara Beckett:

Yeah. Oh, girl, this has been fun. Yeah. Yeah, I'm so glad you came on. And Caroline Talbert, SOS Caroline and TA lvo T of Caroline Talbot studios. Look her up, follow her do a session, and I'm really nervous. But I think I want to chew I did. We're

Caroline Talbot:

moving into a new studio in three weeks. It's going to be amazing. Awesome. So

Tara Beckett:

definitely, I think it's on my list because I think it scares me, so it's probably something I should do. Yeah, it's making me

Caroline Talbot:

all the best things are on the other side of fear. Like that's I love that. Yeah, I stole it from Will Smith. It's fine.

Tara Beckett:

Stealing isn't it? Like stealing is the highest form of flattery or something

Caroline Talbot:

right? I'm like, but if I need to acknowledge like, that's not I didn't make that up. I'm not that good. Numbers and pictures. Words are

Tara Beckett:

amazing. I love you, girl. You're amazing. You're so inspiring. Thank you and we'll meet you on the flip side Caroline.

Caroline Talbot:

Sounds good. Bye, girl. Bye

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