I Am Not Just One Thing, With Artist, Musician & Educator, Paige Clark Perkinson

In this episode, I talk with Artist, Musician and Educator, Paige Clark Perkinson. Paige was a working actor, when she decided to start her family. She talks about her struggles with anxiety and depression while her son was still in her belly, and how after he was born, she found herself questioning if the decision to create a family meant that parts of her would have to disappear. “Things were fine for a while. And then it came time to get back in the game and start acting again. And then there was this whole piece of guilt about where I spent my time. And I felt there was this resistance of my identity being limited to only a mother from then on. I had to say that I was an actor. I am an artist. How dare you? I got really defensive for a while.”

Paige talks about raising her son, who is one quarter Korean, when both she and her mother weren’t raised in the Korean culture. “It’s been a weird experience to be singled out and excluded for something that I really don’t feel a part of. I don’t get the benefits of being part of a community. But I get the detriments of being excluded, because I look like I’m part of that community.”

What started as Paige’s “day job” working as an arts educator, has now become her primary focus. She is still an artist, she is still an actor, she is still a musician, but they have moved to the background of her life. She loves her students, she loves her job, but she acknowledges the little deaths she has had to go through in her life. “I am mourning expectations, mourning the loss of these hopes. That’s definitely how I would describe even my reaction to wanting a girl but having a boy. I was mourning the expectation. And I will be happy about what I do get. But first I need to mourn the change.”

Highlights from Paige:

"Whether it's at nine in the morning, and they're asleep or it's at eight o'clock at night, when we're in tech rehearsal and tensions are running high, I think about using my powers for good. Theater tips over into the realm of non-academic. It gets really personal and emotional and I thrive on being there for them. I gives me purpose, it gives me meaning."

"So that's how I'm approaching having a quarter racial, Korean son— helping him notice the differences in other kids around him. We live in a diverse neighborhood, I think, and in the summertime, he'll say, 'Oh their skin is brown' and I will tell him that yes, some people's skin is brown, some is peach, some is very dark and that is all okay."

"I wish at 18 I had believed that. I wish I could have stood in my own beauty and my own power at that age. Saying it now, I think I'm definitely trying to more mindfully do that for myself.  I am 35. I weigh more now than I did when I was 18. But I can still say, "You're beautiful. You're enough. You look great. "

Don't Miss a Beat.
Follow my Instagram for news from me, Tara Beckett:
https://www.instagram.com/letperfectburn/

Paige Clark Perkinson on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/vpclark/

Original Music for Let Perfect Burn by Eleri Ward
https://www.instagram.com/eleriward/

Transcript

Tara Beckett: 0:10

Hi, I'm Tara Beckett and welcome back to let perfect burn. My guest today is Paige Clark Parkinson. Paige is an artist. She is a performing musician. She is an educator, she is a mother, she is half Korean. All of these different pieces of her sometimes make sense, and other times makes her feel like in order to continue on parts of her must disappear. What once was Paige's day job of working as an arts educator, has now become her primary focus. She loves her students, she loves her job, but she acknowledges all of the little deaths that led her to that point. Paige talks about mourning expectations, mourning the loss of hopes when life looks different than what was once imagined. Page reminds us that sometimes we need to mourn the change. So page welcome. And tell us a little bit about why giving me a bio is a challenge.

Paige Clark Perkinson: 1:32

Yeah, thanks, Tara. Hi. Hi, everybody. I'm Paige. So when Tara invited me on this podcast, I thought to myself, oh, we'll Why do you want me on this podcast? Do you want me on because I am a teacher? Do you want me on? Because I'm an actor? Do you want me on because I am an artist do you want me on because I'm a mother. So I'm all of those things. And I wear all those hats. And it's, I have all of those identities. And it's kind of complicated for me when someone is actually asking me questions and interviewing me kind of about myself in a holistic way. I show up to all sorts of different spaces, you know, wearing a certain hat, you know, oh, this is page clerk, the the actor, this is the musician, this is the you know, PTA No mom. But there's just so many different aspects of my identity, that get all tangled up and overlap each other. It's definitely not perfect. But it all weaves together to be me and my experience. And thanks for asking about it.

Tara Beckett: 2:46

Yes, of course. And I would love a little bit more information and insight as to how you got to this point, so BFA in acting, and you graduate, and then walk us through life up until this point.

Paige Clark Perkinson: 3:04

Yeah, totally. So I went to Boston University for acting, and theater, it was a great experience for me, everybody has a different experience, especially going through acting school. So I got out of school and did the whole actor thing, I guess you could kind of imagine, you know, people who aren't actors can imagine, you know, lots of different odd jobs and, you know, jobs that you can kind of pick up on shifts on so that you can go off to an audition and do shows and stuff. And I was, you know, working pretty steadily and consistently in theater, while simultaneously sort of honing my day jobs to be more in the educational field. Something that I'm really proud of is that I work in education now. And that's something that I knew about myself, at a really early age. I had a really intensive Theatre Department experience in high school, for better or for worse. And I always knew that I wanted to give back to the educational theatre world. So I've always sort of wanted to do that. And I'm a very organized person. So I thought, oh, okay, so I sort of built a lot of, you know, I was like, Okay, what's the entry level job for that? What's the next step for that? So, while I'm working at sort of fringe theatre companies in Boston, and moving up the sort of ladder there simultaneously, I'm working at summer camps for theater for little kids and I'm doing after school programs. And then I finally got my foot in the door actually being a long term substitute for another actor friend of mine. Oh, teaching Yeah, she was a theater teacher at a school in Boston. And she was like, I gotta go be in this show. Will you come be my substitute teacher? And I was like, Sure. So I was the long term substitute teacher there, which led to a permanent job at that school, which led to the permanent job I have now at a high school, being the one of the theater teachers, and I teach public speaking, costume design, and I also direct some of the shows there, we have a really great program, I'm really proud of it. Newton South go south beach. So shameless plug there. So that was all sort of simultaneous with this theater career. They've always been aspirations and goals of mine for my career, kind of equally weighted. And the theatre career piece was really coming along in a way that I was happy with. I think I can guess that maybe a lot of actors aren't, like, aren't ever satisfied. But I had just landed my first regional theater gig, I was really excited. It was kind of a big deal. It was a world premiere, it was really exciting. And then COVID hit and so we were about to go into tech, the day of the March 13. So March 13, was the day we were supposed to move into the theater. So, so that just all stopped. So when you asked me about, like, what is it that you do? And you know, how do you identify as like a profession of professional right? Theatre has really had to take a backseat for me, for the last two years, I haven't been in, been able to be a working actor. Like, for longer than when I was pregnant and had my child, I didn't have to take off that long, you know, when I was having a child. So, but teaching has been a constant and remained and really fed me, and really, given my life, meaning and purpose, throughout this really crazy time. So that kind of brings us into present day.

Tara Beckett: 7:09

Yes. And Paige, my heart kind of started beating quickly, because I had a very similar experience is that I was about to step back into a professional identity. And, and I, you know, I had a four month old at home, and I had my first gig for my professional photography business. And that was the last gig. And so there's this way in which we can feel like we get to the top of the mountain. And it's just kidding, right? It

Paige Clark Perkinson: 7:43

was really, it's really scary. And especially with all this time sitting at home, and especially in 2020, you know, it was just like this feeling of losing all my momentum, you know, and being afraid that it would never come back. You know, so and I still don't know what it's going to be. But I think I'm in a better place. Now as far as like, Well, if the momentum doesn't come back, like we're, we've got other stuff to do. We've got other ways to make meaning in life and other really important other really important things.

Tara Beckett: 8:31

What about your students? Like, what do you, I guess, find meaning and find joy in teaching? Yeah, for

Paige Clark Perkinson: 8:40

sure. I mean, teaching theatre and public speaking, anything creative, I think, but particularly my field is just so such gift, because it really allows them to open up a lot more to to me particularly than they might to some other teacher that they spend time with. I also am a part of the the after school theater program, which is you know, for, for and includes really self selected kids who like really want to do it and want to be I want to be there. And so they want to be it feels like they want to be with me, and I want to be with them. And so it's really nice to be a I feel very honored to be a trusted adult for them. And I don't take that lightly. Because I think I might have written it to you when we were sort of talking about what we're planning. What we're gonna talk about is I had my high school drama teacher was a trusted adult who did not use their position of power in a very responsible way. There was a lot of emotional abuse and not just not productive, not healthy relationships going on there. Aside from all of the really great opportunities in stuff that we had, as far as you know, learning about theater and doing what we did. But from that age on, I really thought, wow, this person has a lot of power over me and over us, my friends. When I grow up, I want to use my powers for good. Mm hmm. Kind of like a superhero or something. So like, that's kind of how I feel when I go in to, you know, see the kids, whether it's, you know, at nine in the morning, you know, and they're like, asleep or it's, you know, at eight o'clock at night, when we're in tech rehearsal and tensions are running high, you know, I think about you know, use your powers for good page, use your powers for good and you know, theater for sure. Tips over into the realm of not academic, it gets it can get really personal and emotional, and, and I really thrive on being being there for them. I like that gives me purpose gives me meaning.

Tara Beckett: 11:08

So I know you mentioned your child, right, that you, you know, came back to acting quicker than COVID. Right? Or that you were able to so talk to me about, you know, flipping into Paige's personal life. So you know, having having this child and what that did to your life.

Paige Clark Perkinson: 11:32

I'm just thinking about him like Baby, baby. So my son is going to be six at the end of March. So he's big, he is not baby anymore, but he was baby. So anyway. Well, I have often started talking about you know, my pregnancy and having a kid when, with saying, the people always tell you about post, like warn you about postpartum depression, but they don't warn you about whatever it's called before that, like pre Farda gestational depression. I don't, I don't know what you would call it. I don't even know what you call it. But I got super depressed when I was later on in my pregnancy, not because of the pregnancy itself, but just because how it was affecting and going to affect my life, and particularly my acting career. I was talking about that sort of momentum with acting and stuff like that. And before I started showing, I was starting to get a little momentum again, too. And I was gonna say no, and like, not take some jobs, because I knew that they were going to like, they were going to open on my due date. I was like, Oh,

Tara Beckett: 12:42

you didn't want to try that?

Paige Clark Perkinson: 12:46

I'm a risk taker. Right, right, I did take a risk. I was I directed a play that was that started rehearsals of two weeks before the due date and the fine week, but he came, he came a week early. I was in rows over like five days. And I was like, Oops, it's fine. It's fine. It's fine. But anyway, so. So I was feeling that sort of like that, that feeling of being held back when he was still in my belly, you know, and well, what does that mean? Does that mean I'm, I'm a bad mother, because I resent my child. And he's not even here yet. That bad. So, um, so that was like, really a place to start, like a rough place to start, I think.

Tara Beckett: 13:39

And then it sort of transit was that unexpected? I think it was less of like, I knew it was going

Paige Clark Perkinson: 13:50

to change my life. And I knew I was gonna make things different. I didn't know I was gonna feel that bad about it. You know? Yeah. Like it was, Oh, of course, you're gonna have a baby, everything's gonna change. You're gonna have to find different ways to work gigs, and you're gonna have to different find different ways to do everything. But I didn't expect it to just make me feel bummed me out so much, you know, and I mean, hormones is probably have something to say about that. But But yeah, so that was really surprising and upsetting. So we sought help, we got Yeah, we got into we got into therapy, a plus on therapy, highly recommend would recommend. And, and then it became, like, you know, I worked through some of those feelings and stuff and after, you know, the baby came out. Things were fine for a while, and and then it came time to like, get back in the game and like start start acting again and stuff. And then there was that whole piece of, of guilt It's about where I where I spent my time. And also, this resistance, I was gonna say this earlier, this resistance of my identity being limited to only a mother from now on. I really resisted that for a long time. I was like, I'm an actor. I'm an artist. How dare you a little bit. I got really defensive for a while too. Because we were like, Oh, well, you're a mom. Now you can't do those types of things. I heard that a lot. Really? Yeah. And sometimes it was like very lovingly, it's like, oh, well, you're a mum. Now, I don't expect you to, like, come out for this or to go out, stay out late with me. Or you know, sometimes it was very nice and caring from a caring place. And then sometimes it was like, Oh, well, you're a mum, now you can expect to be XYZ. And I really resisted that. I really didn't like that. I got really defensive about that. So. So that was like, That was early days in. Yep. Motherhood.

Tara Beckett: 16:08

And the early days are a hot mess, regardless.

Paige Clark Perkinson: 16:11

Right? And then I feel bad, because like I said, like struggle things. But like, also, like, mixed in with were like, gorgeous, beautiful, like, you know, had a really easy time breastfeeding and like snuggles and like, he was a really healthy kid. Like, everything was great. Like, he's a good boy. Yeah,

Tara Beckett: 16:38

but what I'm hearing though, is there's something about being okay with both right? Like, feeling what you felt doesn't negate how lovely those other moments are.

Paige Clark Perkinson: 16:53

Ah, that's so nice. Like, I feel like my shoulders just like drop. Yeah, my jaw clenched here, you say that? Like but but like, there were definitely there was definitely like nine months there were like, something in my brain just wouldn't click into believing that that was true.

Tara Beckett: 17:26

I really can empathize with what you were saying as well about really pushing away that mother label. Because there's, I think that in there. To me, it felt like there was some grief if that was the only thing that defined me. And yet, I was grateful to become a mother. So how do you make both of those things have space for both of those things?

Paige Clark Perkinson: 17:53

Yeah, for sure. And I just I just didn't want it to be a limiting thing. A similar sort of mourning process happen is kind of ongoing. When I'm when I say I'm a teacher a little bit, because teacher was just supposed to be my day job, quote, unquote. And now it's huge. And it's integral to who I am and what I do and what I love, and where I spend most of my time, so why wouldn't I be happy about that? But not being able to say I'm an actor, or I'm an artist? First, all the time. Only? There's a little bit of mourning for that, about that for me?

Tara Beckett: 18:38

Yes, yes. And that morning, morning can be there. I always try to remind myself and I'm really bad at it. But I want to get it tattooed somewhere on my forehead so I can see it in the mirror. But I keep trying to have some compassion for those times where I feel like I should be more grateful. And why am I feeling this way? I should be more grateful. And it's like, you know what, you can have gratitude and really be grateful and also miss what you've shed. Right? And I just really have to practice that that without judging the person who's mourning or grieving or angry.

Paige Clark Perkinson: 19:23

Yeah. Good for you for being able to do that. Tara. Let me let me know when you

Tara Beckett: 19:31

tell me how to Oh, no, no, let's be clear. I practice I am good at it about 3% of the time but

Paige Clark Perkinson: 19:40

okay, okay. Wow, that would be nice. That sounds nice.

Tara Beckett: 19:56

I would love you to talk about as well. And you know, your story that you shared with me briefly about finding out You're having a boy. Oh,

Paige Clark Perkinson: 20:07

yeah. It feels so silly. Now. It feels so silly now.

Tara Beckett: 20:13

I'm gonna leave because ashen. Okay.

Paige Clark Perkinson: 20:17

Well also because, okay, I'll just tell, I'll just tell you, yeah, tell your listeners. So when my husband and I decided to start trying to have a child, I thought in my head, oh, I want a little girl, I want a little girl. Because I'm a girl. And I figured what have something in common. And also, I'm a girl who has a very strong relationship with my mother. Even to this day, I consider her one of my closest friends. I think my mom's pretty cool. I wanted that. I wanted to do that. So when we went to the ultrasound after however many months or whatever, weeks, and they told me it was a boy, who was really upset, I was really sad. I was like, really holding it in. But I was really sad. And I had a good cry in the car with my husband. And he was so he was so gracious towards me, he had so much grace for me. And I was like, Well, now, now, I'm not gonna have that relationship with me, he's not going to have that relationship with me that I have with my mom. And so that's kind of like, what the initial thing was. We definitely I definitely didn't want to do the thing where like, Oh, I'll be surprised on the, on the delivery day, right? Because I knew that I had these hopes that I need to work through. Right. So I was like, okay, and I've worked through them. And, you know, we definitely, I definitely came to understand that like, well, one, like, sex and gender don't matter. As much as I thought they did. You know, this was, what, six years ago, so even then, I've since then, I've learned so much my students have helped me learn so much about, you know, gender and gender expression and like, relationships and all of that. So that was actually a real relief, like learning more about that. I'm really enlightening. And also a mom can have a close, wonderful relationship with their child, no matter no matter what, no matter what gender they are, no matter what sex they are, no matter what their abilities our disabilities are. So you know, and it's something that, that I have to invest in the Oso. Working towards that was was important. And I say it's so silly. I said, I said at the beginning when I was telling you the story, I was like, Oh, that's a silly to me now, because he's obsessed with me. He's obsessed with me. He he knows he has a penis. He knows that girls have vaginas. And he doesn't care. He's like, I'm obsessed with mommy. I want mommy all the time. Daddy who? So? So what, uh, what what Foley? Was was me.

Tara Beckett: 23:26

Yeah, I mean, I can really I have two boys. So yeah. I thought about

Paige Clark Perkinson: 23:33

having trying to have another one so that I could have a girl but then I'd be like, No, then I'll have to.

Tara Beckett: 23:38

And you know, it has definitely I can understand that feeling right? Because I just had it in my mind. I was gonna have girls I just I don't know why I was so positive. But the same thing like the 20 week ultrasound, they're like you're having a boy. And I was really excited because I you know, experienced miscarriage before that. But it took my head some time to wrap around. Like, okay, like, I'm an already weird, funky mom. I don't really want to make the nursery out of trucks. Like how do I make this as sparkly as possible? With my husband always also being okay with it. Right. So yeah, I also was just like, Wait a second. I don't have to be someone different. Because I'm having a boy. Right? I can, like bring myself to him. But it took a little mental gymnastics to figure out how to do that.

Paige Clark Perkinson: 24:38

Yeah, yeah, for sure. And I mean, again, I mean, our conversation is like coming back to this, this idea of of mourning, mourning these expectations or mourning, mourning the loss of these hopes and stuff. And just sort of working through that working through those feelings. So that would that's deaf. That definitely is how I would describe my reaction to I'm changing my expectations of like, wanting a girl but having a boy. It's like, oh, I'm mourning that expectation like, I, that's not what I'm gonna get. And I will be happy about what I do get. But first I need to mourn this change, right?

Tara Beckett: 25:17

Well, and Paige, I don't know, if you had something similar, but I know that I really wanted to teach a girl how to be a woman, that was something I was really looking forward to of just being like, you know, as you as your body develops, and as you're learning, you know, your own sexuality, and I wanted to be there. And I think there's something about a boy were dead if there's a dad in the picture. And, you know, it was my idea that I couldn't teach my son that. But I can write, like, I think it's

Paige Clark Perkinson: 25:51

like, even more beneficial, or, like, even more empowering to have a strong female role model in a young man's life. You know, that's what I was you and I, like, our brains like shifted to the same idea the same time because I was like, I now I'm, like, super excited to be the strong woman in my son's life, to teach him how to, you know, ask for consent and how to give him a sense and how to, how to stand up for you know, non conforming people and how to, you know, how to treat women, you know, what, you know, stuff like that? Because because he's obsessed with me, what's what's except what's acceptable to me, is so important to him.

Tara Beckett: 26:57

You are an Asian American? And can you speak a little bit to that identity, both for yourself and how you pass that down to your son?

Paige Clark Perkinson: 27:07

Um, yeah, that's a good one, you know, what's funny, is when you said that, I thought I thought you were gonna say, as a as an actor, and as a as a theatre artist. And it ain't easy. Let me tell you, um, because only only recently has it been, like, cool to have an ethnic heritage, really. And there's been I've, you know, for better or for worse, I've gotten some work, a lot of work be, you know, being tokenized. You know, myself and stuff, and also like being excluded because I am too ethnic or not ethnic enough or right ethnicity. And like, who gets to tell this story? Like, stuff like that? There's a lot of who, and I don't I think we might need to have another podcast. Yes. That question. Yeah. So to just generally touch on that. That's a long, long slog. That also like makes me feel really self conscious and insecure, on top of the fact that, am I just a mom, am I just a teacher? Am I allowed to still be an actor? On top of that, I'm also an Asian American. So am I allowed to be here? Like there's this constant sort of questioning myself that I have to really work hard to silence? Just to get out of bed to go to the audition? So, yes. So there's that. But I'm in a more on a more personal level. Um, just to share a little bit more more about my heritage. My mom was adopted from Korea. So I'm half Korean, my mother is Korean. And she was adopted when she was really small. So she is not really culturally Korean at all. And she was definitely raised in a time and place like mostly in Virginia, where it was not cool to explore her cultural heritage. So we weren't really raised in our I have a sister, Billy. We weren't culturally raised Korean either. So it's definitely been a weird experience to be sort of singled out and excluded for for something that I really don't feel a part of. I don't get the benefits of you know, being a part of a community. But I get the detriments of being excluded, because I look like I'm a part of that community, if that makes sense. Yes. straddling a line. Yeah. And I can imagine that lots of biracial people may experience that. That feeling. But recently, I've been you know, when I reached adulthood, and had sort of more autonomy about like, how I spend my time and like what I did and stuff, I started exploring just a little A bit more about my heritage, just just a little, you know, toe toe dipping type of stuff. And that's kind of that's actually kind of how I'm raising my son is just to to know, and be aware of his differences, like what makes him different, and what makes him the same from other people. And, thankfully, when we see more representation in TV or cartoons and stuff, I'm like, Look, he's Asian, you're Asian. And my husband's heritage is Scottish. He's not from Scotland, but his heritage is Scottish. And he's very proud of it. And so, you know, we watch brave, and I'm like, they're Scottish. You're Scottish. He's like, Huh. So, you know, giving him all the information is, is what I'm trying to do at this point, or as much as his little six year old brain can can handle at this point, you know, and giving him all the tools so that he can sort of make his own decisions. Telling him things like, you know, he's actually observed, you know, like, why is that boy wearing a skirt skirts are for girls. I'm like, No, but anybody can wear a skirt. A skirt is just a skirt. And he goes, Huh, so then he can choose if he wants to wear a skirt or not. And he's like, why is that boy kissing a boy. And I'm like, sometimes boys kiss boys, sometimes boys kiss girls, sometimes girls kissing girls, you kiss who you like, and he's like, oh, so that he can choose who he likes. Hopefully, without without too much outside pressure. Um, so if someone you know, makes fun of him for having hooded eyelids like they did me, he won't go. Why are you saying that to me? I'm the same as you. I don't understand or, you know, it's going to hurt still, but then he'll be like, Yeah, I'm Korean. I'm different from you. What? Yes, yes. Hopefully, you know. So, so that's kind of how I'm approaching, you know, having, you know, being biracial and having a quarter racial, Korean son, and also, like, helping him notice the differences in other kids around him. You know, we live in a nicely diverse neighborhood, I think and, you know, in the summertime, he's like, Oh, their skin is brown. And I'm like, yeah, some people's skin is brown, some is is peach and some says, you know, like, very dark, and that's all okay, you know, so just trying to give him as much information and helping him notice, notice the differences and being okay with the differences.

Tara Beckett: 32:54

Going back, you were saying that when you decided that you would use powers for good back when you had, you know, a young person's experience with theater. I'm just wondering if you could look back and speak to that 18 year old self and what you might tell her?

Paige Clark Perkinson: 33:13

Yeah, there's, I was my, my parents actually are, like, got rid of all my old stuff. So they sent me all my old stuff to really get out of our house. And they were like, and they sent me like my old like, photo albums and stuff. And I was like, looking through them. And I was like, Oh, I looked so good. Like, and this is very, it's gonna start very superficial, but then it's gonna get nice. It's gonna get a little deeper than I promise, but like, you, you I would say to 18 year old page, you are perfect. Just the way you are. And that sounds so trite. But it's so true. And I needed someone to say that. I mean, I needed someone to say that who I would believe, right? Which sucks about being 18, right? Because I'm like, God bless my parents, especially my dad. My dad was always like, here's how beautiful you can do anything. You got this and I'll just like, Shut up dad. So shame on me, but, but you know what I mean? Like, if I could have just like, made myself believe one thing when I was 18 is like you are enough. You are perfect. The way you are. The sort of dark like the erotic version of it is like, it didn't get any better than this. Like, that's not very nice, but like, like, but you know what I mean? Like, like, at 18. I was like, oh, like, you know, at 18 in the early 2000s. We were all wearing those super low, like waisted jeans and I was like, Oh, my tummies like sticking out and stuff. I was like, Girl, it was not though. I was looking at those pictures. It's like no, it's You're great, you look great, you're tight, you keeping it tight. I was like, what an idiot. Like that was like you were a fool. Like, why would you anyway, so I digress. All that is to say, I wish, I wish I had believed that, like, I wish I could have stood in my own beauty and my own power at that age, and you know, saying it now, I think I'm definitely trying to more mindfully do that for myself now. 35, right. So you can you know, like, I weigh more now than I did when I was 18. But I can still say like, You're beautiful. You're enough like you. You look great. You know? The trick is, I guess believing it, you know? Yes. Yes, that's what I would tell myself if I could talk to 218 year old me

Tara Beckett: 36:07

Paige, it's been lovely to have you on. Before we go, I would love for you to share what let perfect burn. Brings up when you

Paige Clark Perkinson: 36:20

let perfect burn means burn it down. Just burn it all to the ground. There's so much going wrong in the world right now. There's so much trauma and struggle and hardship for everyone. Don't add more to yourself by hold holding yourself to this standard of quote unquote perfect. So take a match and light that word perfect on fire and let the ashes blow away in the wind. And just let yourself breathe a little a little easier.

Tara Beckett: 37:04

I love it. Paid. It's been such a pleasure to have you on I had a good few belly laughs which we're definitely on a Monday. Right. Take care and I would love to do that part two sometime so we can really dig in and go that in that other direction. But I appreciate you sharing yourself and your story and thank you.

Paige Clark Perkinson: 37:31

Thank you for having me. That's cool.